Day 90 – Reflections on Lock-Down

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On my morning walk with Honey the Dog, I was thinking more about The Celtic Energy Festival that we ran yesterday.  It was lovely that we could all come together on Zoom.  We are all scattered across different parts of Scotland and some parts of England, so in the real world, we would’ve had to have met somewhere and probably would have been away for a few days.  There would have been all the travelling, trying to sort out accommodation, food, etc…

Where as with Zoom, you just switch on your computer and there it is!  Which meant, we had more time to plan the content, etc…of the day.  I guess, that is why we meet, outwith lock-down, at festivals, for a few days.

Plus, we were able to record the whole thing, for our archives!

This led me onto thinking, I wonder, how many hours we spend travelling in our lives?

Travelling to work, travelling to go out with friends, travelling to go on holiday, travelling to festivals, travelling to gigs, etc…and travelling home after all of these?  If one added up all their travelling in a week or even a month, that we did, it would be massive!

Since lock-down and most things being virtual, there is no travel time.  Folk can just roll out of bed, switch on their computer and they are “at work”, a virtual event, a virtual gathering, a virtual festival!  Which frees up so much time!

I then wondered, how much time do we spend each day ‘grooming’ ourselves, to go to work, to go out, etc…?  Having a shower, having clean clothes, making sure to wear different ‘outfits’ each day, etc…Then there’s the actual time of going round shops, buying new clothes, getting our hair cut, etc…there is so much preparation time we spend to be with other people, to meet other people.

In lock-down, that is so less needed.  Most people, have not had their haircuts, so it is acceptable to have scruffy hair.  People can go to work in the Pyjamas or dressing gown and it is kind of acceptable.  Of course, no one can see your legs!

In lock-down we don’t put on the ‘social face’ the ‘social facade’ to appear to the world outside of our home.  In fact, for me (at least) I find more and more in lock-down I am comfortable for the world to see me on Zoom without my ‘social facade’.

I am showing people the “real me”.  The authentic me.  Rather than the person I ‘should’ be outside my flat.

For me, it is ok to sit around in my pyjamas all day.  Even for a Zoom meeting.  I’ve started walking Honey the Dog in my joggers and t-shirt.

I feel like that I am letting go the facade of who I want people to see me to be and able to show the real me!

Outwith lock-down we “show” different parts of ourselves to different people in different settings.  But it feels in lock-down that these boundaries are all merging together, as everyone sees as in the same place – on Zoom through a camera.

We can use a virtual backgrounds, to create a different facade – but there is something special about having people “in your home”, when they are not actually there.

I remember at the start of lock-down, in Zoom meetings, the conversations were to look at people’s background (real or not).  In fact, that still happens.

It’s such a big change.  What do you think?



Today, I have spent most of the day sleeping are watching TV on my iPad lying on the sofa.  Honey and I went for two walks to Kate’s Park and then one round the graveyard at the end of the night.

Has been really lovely having  a lazy day.  I haven’t drunk any alcohol in lock-down, but today have spent the day as if I had a hangover, because I went to bed so late last night.

It was 4am when I finally climbed into bed – it was just getting light!

This weekend, has been the first weekend, since lock-down, which has felt like a weekend and not just any other day.  Has been lovely to have fun, a different routine, lots of time to relax and eat good food.

For the last few years, working as a magician, weekends have been when I have been working.  Then trying to do some kind of work in the week.  I think I have lost the structure of how a weekend is “meant” to be – having a break from work.

So this weekend has been like a proper weekend 🙂



Poetry Corner

Another poem written by myself  whilst I was training to be a mental health nurse.

You’ve guessed it…this poem was written during a 3 hour tutorial about reassurance – “How can we, as nurses, be reassuring ??”.  That was the focus of the tutorial.

This discussion led me into a dreamy world of being a nurse and trying to be with a patient after they had arrived into A&E.

However, after qualifying and working as a mental health nurse, I felt, it would fit well with someone, who has just had ECT (Electro Convulsive Therapy).  People who’ve just had ECT, often describe waking up feeling confused, not knowing where they are, having a sore head, feeling scared, etc…There was always a nurse with the patient, as they woke up after ECT to reassure them, be with them and make sure they are OK.

I think this poem would also fit really well with someone in hospital with Covid-19.

This is one of my favourite poems, that I have written.

 

The Reassuring Nurse

I opened my eyes with a sudden jolt,
Strange smells, noises, voices around this bed.
I felt scared, angry, hurt, unloved and despair,
And began to shake in this alien place.

I distant figure looked down and smiled,
Taking my hand and stroking my face.
As I listened to the figure and became more aware,
A sense of ease filled up this space.

Then that scary question came into my mind,
Is this the end, am I going to die?
I started to feel a wave of respect over me,
And began to smile, feeling warm and safe.

As I lay very still in this weak body of mine,
I longer for my family, to just say Goodbye.
This nurse next to me was all that I had,
As I closed my eyes and fell fast asleep.

 

 

Readers Corner

Three people for Readers Corner – Brian and Gez sent something just after the Submission Deadline, but they made it!

 

Brian

Brian who was also at The Celtic Energy Festival, sent me a message this evening saying:

“I still can’t believe we made an actual festival together, which was uncannily like the ‘real thing,’ and managed to unite so many of our gang together.  In fact, I’m sure it was the first time all of us have ever been in the one place together.  After months of thinking I wasn’t achieving very much that was a big achievement. The whole day was an undisputed highlight of lockdown!

The only problem is I’m now down with a big dose of the Hebcelt Blues, and missing all of the gang after such a special time together, which despite going on till the wee small hours seemed to flash by. Just like the ‘real thing,’ don’t you think?!”.

Thanks for that Brian.  Yes, I am also feeling the Celtic Energy Festival Blues!

 

 

Gez

Gez who was the main organiser of yesterday’s event, is also feeling it, she also wrote:

“I’ve been feeling funny… it’s like I’ve got some sort of case of something… vaguely familiar. Do you think it could be… maybe maybe… the Online Mini Live Aid Energy Hebcelt Blues?!!!”.

 

I agree Gez.  The sign of a good festival is the blues that follows! 😉

 

 

Helen

Helen posted a comment on yesterday’s blog, saying:

 

“So lovely to hear about your day and the friendships you share with a very special group of people! I think this is my “it made me smile” moment for today. Your energy bubbles out of the page! I hope you were able to get some sleep.

Thanks for including Jacob Collier’s song. It’s not always the “easiest” music to listen to, but I must have been in the right mood for it yesterday, because I listened to the first two Djesse albums right through. The 3rd one is due to be released this summer.

I interpreted it as material stuff that we cling onto, but you’ve given me a new perspective to think about when you talked about letting go of the facade and just being ourselves.”.

 

Thanks Helen.  Yes, had a relaxing day today, sleeping mainly!  I’ve touched some more on “letting go of the facade” in today’s blog!  Thanks for that 🙂

 

It Made Me Smile

Matt ??

 

 

Twenty-Five Day Push-Up Challenge

Nearly forgot to do this today!  I am certainly getting better, but my core muscles are soo sore!

I am determined to do the full 25 push-ups without putting my knees down, before the end of the 25 days.

 



As I come to the end of today’s blog, I also have a strangely familiar feeling.  But it is not post-festival blues, it is the ‘Sunday Feeling”!  Being self-employed, I haven’t felt that for so many years!  So although, I am feeling flat that the weekend is over and tomorrow I return to “work”.  I am loving that I am feeling it.

This morning it was sunny and warm.  This afternoon it rained.  This evening it cleared up and was a clear sky.

Tomorrow, in Scotland it is the law, that we must all wear face-covering when travelling on any form of public transport (bus, train, tram, ferry, etc…).  I think it is still only advisory to wear face-covering in shops.  People can be refused to travel if they don’t have a face-covering.

I hardly ever see the news or read a newspaper these days, so would have not known this.  But, yesterday, I was chatting to a couple of police officers whilst I was walking Honey the Dog (one of whom I know) and they were telling me this.  They had been called to the park to break up a gathering of 10 people doing gym/weights session, with all the equipment in the neighbouring Play Park, which is closed due to Covid-19, with chains and signs on the gates!  They had climbed over the fence!

It will be interesting to see how the new travel rules pan out.  I can imagine many people won’t even know about it or won’t have a face-covering.  Will they be refused to travel?

It’s been a tiring, but awesome weekend!

It feels like I am letting go more and more in lock-down, with the social facade slowly dissolving, allowing others to see a deeper part of who I am.

It’s lovely how I am experiencing so many new things in lock-down AND able to reflect on them all here in this blog.   Discovering new ways of connecting with each other, new ways of interacting, new ways of being.  It is so magical.

Happy Summer Solstice!

Jim xx

 

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