Day 8 – Reflections on Lock-Down

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It’s been a tiring day with little inspiration to write this blog.  My friend Fi, suggested I took a day off – but I made a commitment to myself to write one every day during lock-down.  So here we go…

Most of today I have been feeling something is missing!

I have been trying to work out what that is and have a few theories, but as yet, none of them sit with me comfortably.  I am guessing, once I have filled the missing gap and notice the feeling has gone, I will then know what is missing.

I haven’t been for a run or a long walk since Sunday, so I am guessing lack of movement maybe it.  I was super active on Sunday, doing DIY, moving furniture round, a long run and a trip to the shops – and afterwards was feeling really energised!  So I am guessing that could be part of it.

I am also feeling the last few days my routine has slipped.  I get to sleep about 2am and wake up when I wake up, which is usually about 9am or 10am.  So perhaps bringing a routine into my life would be useful.  Its so easy to let things slip at the moment, as the only person I am really accountable for is myself!

I am getting used to this new life.  Feeling more relaxed and less worried about the situation we are in.  I wonder, whether in fact I am starting to accept the situation and the feeling of NOT being up tight, which I have been feeling for a few weeks, is unfamiliar?

I am also feeling a lack of connection with the world.  I am missing physical contact with friends.  I am missing not seeing people I know.  I am finding virtual and telephone connection with people is not the same – I miss connection.

I am feeling emotionally drained.  As if I have been crying all day.  I have that feel of wanting to curl up in bed with a duvet round me and sleep!

I want a hug 🙁

 

Honey the Dog is good company, but she doesn’t seem to like being hugged that much (by me).  You can see from my photos – she is getting good at posing for photos 😉



Do any of you listen to Radio 2?  At the moment, during lock-down, at 7.30pm they tell a story, for children’s bedtime.  It reminds me of when I was very young, you could phone up a number and have a bedtime story.

Due to lack of inspiration today for blog writing.  I want to share a story, with you, which always comes to me when the world is worrying about something big – the last time I remembered it was, when Donald Trump became president of the USA.

It was last night, that I remembered the story.  So I will end this blog with the story.  Oh and here’s a photo of the tag that was on my bedtime tea last night.

 

So get yourself comfortable and I will tell you a bedtime story….



Once upon a time, a long long time ago, in an ancient distant land, there lived an old man in a village.  This old man was very poor and had lived there all his life.

The kings of the land were very jealous of the old man, because he had a beautiful white horse.

The kings would often visit the old man and offer him bags and bags of gold coins for the horse, but the man would always say the same:

“This horse is not a horse to me, he is a person.  And how can you sell a person?”.

The man was poor, but he never sold the horse.

One morning, he found that the horse was not in the stable.  The whole village gathered and they said:

“You foolish old man!  We knew that someday the horse would be stolen.  It would have been better to sell it.  What a misfortune”.

The old man replied:

“Don’t go so far as to say that.  Simply say that the horse is not in the stable.  This is the fact; everything else is a judgement.  Whether it is a misfortune or a blessing I don’t know, because this is just a moment.  Who knows what is going to follow it?”.

People laughed at the old man.  They had always known that he was a little crazy.

One night, after 15 days of the horse missing, suddenly, he returned.  He had not been stolen.  He had escaped into the wild.  And not only that he brought a dozen wild horses with him.

Again the people gathered and they said:

“Old man, you were right, this was not a misfortune, it has indeed proved to be a blessing”.

The old man said:

“Again you are going too far.  Just say that the horse is back…who knows whether it is a blessing or not?  It is only a moment.  You read a single word in a sentence…how can you judge the whole book?”.

This time the people could not say much, but inside they knew that was wrong.  Twelve beautiful horses had come.

The old man had an only son who started to train the wild horses.  Just a week later he fell from a horse and his legs were broken.  The people gathered again and again they judged.  They said:

“Again you proved right!  It was a misfortune.  Your only son has lost the use of his legs, and in your old age he was your only support.  Now are you are poorer than ever”.

The old man said:

“You are obsessed with judgement.  Don’t go that far.  Say only that my son has broken his legs.  Nobody knows whether this is a misfortune or a blessing.  Life comes in moments and more is never given to you”.

It happened that after a few weeks the country went to war.  All the young men of the town were forcibly taken for the military.  Only the old man’s son was left, because he was crippled.  The whole town was crying and weeping, because it was a losing fight and they knew most the young men would never come back.  They came to the old man and they said:

“You were right, old man – this proved a blessing.  Maybe your son is crippled, but he is still with you.  Our sons are gone forever”.

The old man said again:

“You go on and on judging.  Nobody knows!  Only say this, that you sons have been forced to enter into the army and my son has not been forced.  But only God, the total, knows whether it is a blessing or a misfortune”.



Sleep Well.

 

Jim xx