It’s interesting how energies can shift in lock-down. I am sure it is the same in life out with lock-down, but I am starting to forget what life was like back then!
This morning I was still feeling angry, but by the end of my afternoon walk on Arthur’s Seat the anger had gone.
There was still lots of cars about – but my anger was no more. I felt really grounded at the end of the walk. By the end I was thinking how much I am enjoying life. And as I just walked round the cemetery for our bedtime walk – I felt how lucky I am to be alive living on this planet!
All my anger from the last few days has shifted. I wrote about this before (Day 30), about the river and relating it to life (a published paper I read by Margaret Harkness). Trusting the path of the river, knowing that is where you are meant to be. Just like a river, it will turn round a corner and be in a different place.
It reminds me of a quote I have read, I am sure I have it somewhere on a card – but can’t find it – something like life can be hard, just don’t get caught in it.
Anyone know the quote I am talking about?
Whilst searching for the card with the quote on, I found two other cards with quotes on, so I will share them instead:
“We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails”
And
“Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder…”
Ultimately, my anger over the last couple of days – was just anger. The cars are still there, but the anger is not. I am sure the anger arose due to lock-down, my predicament, life, etc…if it wasn’t the cars, it would have been something else!
But now as I write this at the end of today, the anger is gone. Instead I am feeling really emotionally drained.
The anger may return – I am sure it will. And probably lots of other raw feelings.
That’s something that I am enjoying with lock-down, the raw feelings that are arising. From the challenges I / we are all experiencing. When life is an even keel, there are not so many strong raw emotions. Despite feeling really uncomfortable when I am in these hard emotions – I love how they are so strong!
Don’t know if that makes sense? The key – is to learn to be with them, rather than react to them.
Ah-Ha! That was the more the quote I was looking for – accepting life is going to be hard, just being with that – rather than going with it, getting caught in it and reacting to it.
I think I found the quote:
“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s learning how to dance in the rain”.
This morning I was still feeling anger about all the cars everywhere.
Despite Saturday being my day of rest and the only day I can have a lie in – I decided to get up relatively early and go for a cycle – without Honey the Dog and explore parts of Leith. Now I have discovered I am Leither I decided I needed to know it better. Like a wee adventure!
I explored a lot of the cycle paths and Water of Leith. Was great to be out and about, without Honey the Dog with me.
There were less cars around today – or maybe just because I wasn’t on Easter Road. But I still was angry at cars.
As I headed up Leith Walk, I was surprised to see Starbucks on Leith Walk was now open.
I became angry about that. All these big multi-national companies are probably not struggling like the local independent cafes. Of course they will have been affected by lock-down, but I felt annoyed that folk were going in. It’s these companies that ultimately will survive, when all the local independent shops are probably really struggling to keep going and may ultimately have to shut down.
I then headed to the butchers (independent) on Albert Street and then up to Easter Greens – the vegan shop that Honey and I got to most days. The shop is also a grocers and sell a load of different breads! I had decided to try their ‘click and collect’ service. Choose what you want online, pay for it online, then collect it the next day.
Felt good to be supporting local independent businesses, rather than the likes of Sainsburys or Lidl.
I then lay on the sofa and watched / dozed.
Honey the Dog is really good for me – whatever my mood or energy levels – she will pester me from about 3pm onwards to go out for a walk. I really wasn’t in the mood and fancied to spend the rest of the day on the sofa.
But at 4.30pm I gave in. It was choice of Kate’s Park or Arthur’s Seat. Once out, I decided to go to Arthur’s Seat.
It was a lovely afternoon. Quite warm.
Decided to head up the crags and then various other areas.
Throughout the walk, our paths kept crossing with a lady – even though we were going different ways – even as we headed down Easter Road at the end of the walk – she appeared!. As we headed up the crags we chatted. Laura (pronounced Lao-ra), from Latvia, has been living in Edinburgh for 10 years.
As we chatted about work, etc…she said she was glad to be in a job. This is a new phrase that I have heard more and more “glad to be in a job”. A few months ago, that would have been weird to say this – but now it seems pretty common. With so many people without a job and reinventing themselves!
When I mentioned my blog – she seem inspired, saying she had been thinking of starting a blog and was just learning how to use WordPress to start one.
I have found that a lot – chatting to various people on our walks, that people are inspired and interested in this blog.
I have always wanted to write a blog. Have written a few in the past – but the rhythm and commitment of this one everyday is great! I am loving it!
She posed for a photo for the blog and said she would start reading. Awesome – another reader 😉
I am sure the connection helped shift my energy. Plus, being up on the crags in the middle of nowhere, grounding to the earth.
Readers Corner
I think that is the second time this week, where I have nothing to include in Readers Corner. I wonder why that is? Maybe readers have been confused by the ‘etiquette & deadline’ I included a few days ago? Or perhaps you are all finding things harder with lock-down – I mean it is nearly 8 weeks?!
Anyway – this saves me time.
If you get a moment – Please do put a comment on Facebook, on Twitter, at the end of the blog or even just message me. Would be great to grow Readers Corner some more. No pressure!
Don’t feel that I have shared any thing which is light and amusing for a while. So I have been searching online and found a few things to share:
This is a great summary of being in self-isolation. Well worth a watch – it’s great!
This one just got put up on YouTube today – With holidays cancelled due to coronavirus, Scots are coming up with unique ways to still enjoy their breaks – all from the comfort of their own homes!
This is quite old – a lock-down song. Similar theme to the first one.
If you have any funny songs or videos you want to share, please do make suggestions and I will share in the blog.
So as I come to the end of today’s blog. I am feeling still within myself, but also emotionally drained, but in a good way. Last Saturday I was feeling exhausted!
It has been an interesting day.
Despite being Saturday and my day of rest – I have done quite a lot. In addition to all that I have described, I also cooked a tasty meal with lots of my new food.
It’s so interesting how things can go up and down so quickly in lock-down. With so strong emotions.
It reminds me a lot of the early days of lock-down, the first 20 days or so – with new restrictions being so hard. Then, I started to settle into it and accept it.
Now it feels I am shifting back into some harder times. Which feels ultimately, due to the isolation of not having much contact with people for nearly 2 months.
I am loving this roller-coaster of a ride – the ups and downs. But also not knowing when it will all end. It’s such a rich journey that seems like a once in a lifetime opportunity!
Thanks for reading.
Lots of love
Jim xx
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