I have been hearing how quite a few people have been struggling over the last few days. Which is a comfort to me, as I continue to struggle today.
I’ve heard how those on total lock-down – people who are classed as ‘vulnerable’ and were told around the middle of March to isolate for 12 weeks have found this week particularly hard.
It makes me think back to Day 40, when I wrote about how historically forty days is the length of time people have been quarantined in the past. But no particular reason why 40 days. I wonder, whether this is the number of days, one can handle being in isolation / lock-down – without starting to ‘lose it’.
I certainly have been struggling this week. I was quite enjoying lock-down. But now it has been so much harder. Whether it is because we are now easing out of lock-down and there is more talk of this happening – which generate fear in some – anxiety in others – but also relieve for many? Or whether it is because, 53 days is just too long to isolate / have no contact with others and be on lock-down?
Experiencing ‘lock-down’ fatigue as the media put it!
Today, I continued to have little motivation to do anything. I have noticed my optimal time of having energy and getting things done is after Chi Gong to about lunchtime. So about 10am to 2pm. Those 4 hours I get lots done.
But saying that, I also find every week on Monday and Tuesday I seem to have a lot more energy. This week I didn’t take a more easy day on Wednesday (like I usually do), so perhaps that’s why Thursday and Friday have been so much harder for me?
I was really tempted to skip the long walk today, my head was saying “Jim, it’s Friday today. Take a day off”. But when I got outside, I felt my energy picking up – so I went for a walk on Arthur’s Seat and really enjoyed it.
But as I walked up Easter Road – I had so much anger. It just kept rising up in me. I was furious!! I was wishing that I had gone for a run to release some of the anger.
My anger was towards the amount of cars on Easter Road. Driving way too fast and being completely disrespectful to pedestrians trying to social distance. In fact, apart from everyone queuing outside shops, about 20% people wearing face masks and the kind of ‘dance’ one does when approaching others, to work out how you are going to social distance – you would not know we were on lock-down. Life seemed as usual on Easter Road.
This also made me angry.
30-40 days ago – when we were in the early days of lock-down. The city was so quiet and peaceful and still. There was no traffic. No hustle and bustle. No one being busy. People looking out for each other – people caring for each other.
Everyone was saying how lovely it was. No noise pollution. No air pollution. No rushing.
I had really really hoped that we could learn from this and do things differently once on ‘the other-side’. But it feels like this is not happening on Easter Road. Everyone is back driving too fast. Not caring about anyone else but themselves. Back to just looking out for themselves. There’s loads of noise pollution. There’s loads of air pollution.
And that is what is making me angry.
It’s made me realise – just how much I don’t like living in the city. I’ve always known it – I became aware of it at the start of lock-down and wrote about it in my early blogs – and now lock-down is easing it is a massive reminder of how I want to live where it is quieter, with less pollution and where people (who don’t know each other) look out for each other and care for each other.
In the city (Edinburgh), people will cross over to the other-side of the street to avoid someone who is lying on the pavement, maybe injured and needing help. I always stop and help – but I have watched how people, just cross over the road or even step over someone in need.
In the early days of lock-down, everyone was looking out for each other. Everyone was caring for each. Connected to our human-ness. connecting as one human to another. Helping strangers. I was doing it. I wrote how I gave my parking space to someone who was looking for one. I couldn’t understand why. It was so special in the early days of lock-down. It was a changed city.
But this seems to be changing. This seems to be quickly dissolving. People have already forgotten how they were just a few weeks ago.
It makes me angry just writing it here.
As you will know, on Day 50 and Day 51, I decided to compile the statistics on all the blogs I have written so far to commemorate reaching 50 days on lock-dowh.
I also created a small quiz.
Below are the main statics I pulled together (by copy and pasting each blog individually into Microsoft Word). This is in a Photo Gallery – so click/tap on the photo to read.
I was very impressed, that four of you, did the quiz. Here are the scores, in results of who completed it first.
Helen – 30% (6 out of 20)
Anon – 45% (9 out of 20)
No one important – 95% (19 out of 20)
Fi – 40% (8 out of 20)
Well Done to ‘No one important’ for only getting 1 question wrong. That is amazing! I must admit it was a hard quiz, so I will stick to just writing blogs!
Below are the answers – again in a Photo Gallery, so click/tap on the photo to read.
On my walk today on Arthur’s Seat there were a lot less people out. As soon as I got up into the hills and away from the city, I felt so much calmer and at peace within myself. I so love being connected to the earth and in the quietness and beauty of nature.
Was so good to get out and enjoy that.
I spent quite a while sitting in different hills / spots – high up – looking down and just enjoying the peace and quiet. Watching nature.
Just like about a week ago, Honey the Dog came and sat behind me again. It feels that she is coming up to me to hang-out once she has explored everywhere that she wants to.
Just licks my ear. Then just sits behind me.
Perfect time for a selfie.
I’ve worked out that the way to get her to look at the camera – is to balance a small biscuit on the top of my phone 😉
So lucky to have Arthur’s Seat just over a mile from my home. Which I can get away from it all.
My friend Gez who lives in Glasgow, she is organising a virtual festival in June dedicated to The Energy. She commented on Day 51 Blog with:
“Great Blog Magical One. I have a question to pose to the blog challenge: did the anxiety level change (get better or worse?) with news of online energy festival?”.
Thanks for the comment Gezzzzzz – I don’t think it affected the anxiety – but it did lift my energy 🙂
Lisa commented on yesterday’s blog:
“Hi Jim, really sorry to hear you’re not feeling great at the moment and your anxiety is bad.
It’s so hard seeing people around flouting the rules while the rest of us are staying home and being careful so I really understand how you feel. It’s affected me several times too.
It’s such a scary and unsettling time.
I hope Honey enjoyed her ear and that you’re feeling a bit more like yourself soon.
Thank you so much for putting yourself out and Chi Gong in the mornings, It can’t always be easy for you, but it’s very much appreciated.
Take care and I’m only ever message away if you’re fed up and want to vent. x”.
Thanks for you supportive words Lisa. I am glad that you are finding the Chi Gong useful.
If anyone is interested in joining morning Chi Gong – it is every weekday morning at 09:10 for 25 minutes on Zoom. There is a private Facebook Group that I can add you to if you are interested in trying it out. Just let me know.
Pat also commented about yesterdays blog on Facebook. He said:
“Agreed On The Isolation Comments..As I Said Last Week It Seems To Be That People Are Not Giving A Dam..I Like You Have Found Myself Angry with The Attitudes Of People..Don’t Be To Hard On Yourself Mate…This To Shall Pass…Stay Safe and Stay Well My Friend….☘️☘️☘️☘️“.
Thanks for that Pat. Nice to know that others are feeling the same way as me.
So as I come to the end of today’s blog. I am feeling tired. It’s been a tiring week. Monday and Tuesday I had lots of energy. Maybe I over did it at the start of the week. I certainly have been in bed between 11pm and 11.30pm every night (except tonight) – which has been so much better than the week before. The last few nights I have been getting 7 hours sleep a night. Where as the week before I was getting between 5-6 hours sleep a night.
I feel that I have lost my rhythm over the last week or so. Which I am finding unsettling. I really enjoyed the rhythm I had in the early days of lock-down. As we move into a new phase of lock-down, I guess there will be new adjustments, but hopefully I will find a new life rhythm soon.
I do hope that we can learn from this lock-down and make changes in our life. It has been such a special time for us all – perhaps a “once in a lifetime” experience.
It is an opportunity for us to reflect on how life has been for the last 50 days or so – and make changes in our life and for the world to make it a better place to live.
A better place for all of us now and for the generations to come.
[WORD COUNT – 1764] [TODAY’S PHOTOS – 8]