Day 293 – Reflections on Lockdown

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Today I feel like I’ve hit a wall of exhaustion!

It feels like I have kept going and going, travelling to my flat and painting it virtually everyday for the last month or so, that with the end insight, I’ve lost the momentum and energy!  I’ve hit a wall, so to speak!

So with this in mind, I decided to not go to the flat today and spent the day on Discovery and at the canal.

This feels the same with writing this blog – little energy and no motivation.  I guess, like running a marathon, at about the 20 mile mark, many people hit ‘The Wall‘ and this is how it feels with this blog!  I’ve reached 293, with only 72 days to go, but I have lost complete motivation and energy to keep going!

Last night I slept for 10 hours – apart from getting up at 3am and walking along the towpath and back for a pee!  I’ve learnt to do this in virtual sleep mode and just go back to sleep when I get back to bed.

Last night, just before going to bed, a group of about 10 young people, just up from Discovery,  were skateboarding on the canal!  They were doing skateboarding tricks too – jumping in the air and spinning round and landing back on their skateboards.  The ice didn’t even move.  One guy, grabbed his skateboard and hit it repeatedly on the ice, on the hope it would crack – it didn’t.  It is definitely rock solid frozen!

Also, last night, Discovery was doing these mini shudders, the kind you would feel if you lived next to a railway line and a train would zoom by really fast.  It was very weird and not a familiar shake, concluding it was probably due to the ice melting a little.  She is definitely more upright after filling the water tank with water – no more slanting inside 🙂

This morning, I had my fortnightly meditation group on Zoom, which was just what I needed.  It was during that, I realised, I deserved a break from going to the flat today.  So instead lay on my bed and watched a film and fell asleep for a while.  Apart from Christmas Day and Boxing Day, I’ve been to my flat every day since the start of December!

Then Honey and I went for a walk on the canal.  I kept her on the lead for most of it as she seemed to be getting tempted to go for a swim – although with the canal frozen in most parts, I didn’t want to go in after her if she got into difficulties!

There were quite a few people out walking – mainly in pairs or on their own (following the Level 4 Scotland 2/2 restrictions).  There was one family of 6 – 2 adults and 4 children, recalling that the 2/2 rule applies to anyone from 12 years and older, a couple of the 4 children looked older than 12!  Also quite a few groups of threes out and about!

The funny thing was, on the way back, there were lots of folk walking back towards Edinburgh.  We all walked along on the left side about 5 metres behind each other, stretching into the distance.  All going at about the same pace – it was a weird phenomena and would only be seen during Covid times.

As I come to the end of this blog, it’s another short one, I am hoping my energy will return tomorrow.  Thinking back to previous January’s I recall often the first few weeks in January, feeling a sluggish energy, from the darkness and not so good weather.

Today it has been so much warmer, all the ice has gone.  I think it was up to 6 degrees centigrade – not having to worry about putting on multiple layers to walk to the toilet is so much easier.  Plus, not worrying about slipping over on the ice and putting daily salt down around the boat to stop Honey slipping into the canal.

The canal continues to be frozen in many parts, although it is slowly melting with more and more melt water on top  Saying that I am guessing it is quite thick, as every time it rained or snowed, when it was cold, the rainwater would just freeze on top.  I think it’s going to be a while yet until it is not frozen at all.

Today the weather been cloudy, not rained and warm – there has been a warmth in the air (compared to the last few weeks).  Looks like the temperature is set to fall again by the middle/end of next week, so I might as well enjoy it!

Hope you’ve had Soothing Sunday!

Jim x

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