Day 113 – Reflections on Lock-Down

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A Mini-Quiz to start off the blog today.  What is the significance of the rock that Honey is sitting on in the opening photo of this blog?  Answers at the start of one of the section in this blog!

Today I continue to being tired, have had a couple of later nights and then working through the day, I am determined to be in bed by midnight tonight!

After Chi Gong this morning, I was talking with Helen about energy, which I was reflecting on in yesterdays blog (Day 112) and how being with people can use up a lot of energy.  I had noticed that after spending time with a group of people (friends and folk I didn’t know) on Sunday, how exhausted I felt yesterday.  It was the first time I had been with a group of people since lock-down started.

Helen talked about how extroverts take energy from people and introverts give away their energy (I think that was the correct way round).  It made me think of the book The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield.  It’s a fictional book, but is based on a lot of meta-physical understandings of the world.  I have read this book a number of times, plus the sequels and listen to them all again more recently on audible!  He talks a lot about energy and the ‘control dramas’ that we use to gain energy from others.

I’ll quote a bit of his book from ‘The Pocket Guide‘ of the Celestine Prophecy, which provides a summary of the philosophy / metaphysical part of the book, rather than the story that runs through it:

“Too often humans cut themselves off from the greater energy systems [from the ‘universal’ and inner source of divine energy] and so feel weak and insecure.  To gain, energy we tend to manipulate or force others to give us attention and thus energy.  When we successfully dominate others in this way, we feel more powerful, but they are left weakened and often fight back.  Competition for scare human energy is the cause of all conflict between people.

The great contribution of psychologists in our time – Carl Junk, Otto Rank, Norman O. Brown, and Eirc Berne – has been to show that humans tend to be motivated by very deep insecurity.  We feel alone and search for the security derived from validated by others.  We want to feel that others approve of and even defer to our knowledge and position.  We try to subtly force this validation by controlling the thoughts and opinions of those around us.

The more we stay connection, the more we are actually aware of those times when we lose connection, usually when we are under stress.  In these times, we can see our own particular way of stealing energy form others.

It is at these times and under these circumstances that we can detect the particular style in which we attempt to control others, one or more of what I have described as ‘control drama’.  These styles of controlling fall along a spectrum from passive to aggressive.

Poor Me
For instance, if we seek to control another by making that person feel guilty for not doing enough for us (gaining energy when he or she buys into this “guilt trip” and being to attend to us) we can be described as a “poor me”.

If, on the other hand, we seek to control others in a slightly less passive way by remaining detached, secretive, and vague – hoping to entice someone into chasing us around in order to probe and figure us out, and thus gaining energy from that person’s attention in that manner – than we are acting ‘aloof’.

More aggressive behaviour would be the attempt to control others by ‘finding fault’ and making others feel self-conscious and monitored, a style designated as that of the ‘interrogator’.

Lastly, we come to the most aggressive control drama of all, ‘intimidator’, who wins energy by frightening others into paying attention.

If we are to avoid falling into these control dramas, each of us must first identify our particular “drama”, or in the case of multiple use, dramas, and become fully conscious of these manipulations every time we employ them.  Why?  because any unconscious habit brought fully into awareness is released, and we can begin to lengthen those periods when we are in a state of connection, trust and love – opening us up to our real purpose in life, our spiritual mission.”

That is taken from a few different sections of the book, so I hope it makes sense.

I think my control drama is mainly to be “aloof” and maybe at time “poor me”.  I used to be aware of them, when I used them, but only since thinking about it today, have been thinking about it again and recognising when I have used them more recently.


What’s your control drama?


Today on our morning walk in Montgomery Street Park, we stumbled across a lady, who seemed to be doing an interview for a camera, but on her own.  Always curious and wanting something to include in this blog, I asked her what she was doing.

I think she replied saying she was doing a “film to camera”, which I later wondered what it meant – as all film not to a camera?!  But now looked up online and have found the phrase ‘Piece to Camera‘, which is when a television presenter or character speaks directly to the viewing audience through the camera.  Perhaps that is what she said?

She said she worked for STV, lived nearby and the park was quiet.  Although, I think was get a little frustrated by the light!

We talked a little about lock-down and she said she was enjoying going to Joseph Pearces for a take-away pint!

She was interested in this blog and said I could take a photo for it.  You can click on the photos to see it in full-size.



That’s one thing that is great about this blog, I am forever trying to find things to write about and so forever being curious.  Not being scared to ask someone what they are doing and if I can include them in the blog.

Honey the Dog is also curious, I think that is a trait of a Labrador.  Looking in car doors which are open, looking into shop door ways, just looking around at anything!  I find it particularly cute and now I find I am doing it too 😉


Poetry Corner

We come to the last poem that I wrote during my mental health nurse training.

It is another quite personal one for me, which I wrote as I was coming to the end of my 3 years training to be a mental health nurse and don’t think I have written another poem since!

I was scared to qualify and scared that my life was about to change, from being a student back into the real world.

The poem summarises my 3 years of training and some of my feelings at this time.  I cover all the different placements I went on, the names of the wards and hospitals.  I felt it quite important to write a poem about this, because it was my nursing course that had led me into writing all the other poems.

I hoped that I would find another way to stimulate my mind to write poems, but I guess I haven’t been in lectures since then, where I have struggled to stay awake!  So this is the final one I have ever written!


Reflections of a Student Nurse

The end is night, and I’m feeling scared,
A week to go, and I am qualified.
Changes in life, decisions to make,
An ending is here, as I reflect on life.

First Year began in Morningside Church,
Meeting people, and going out.
A new beginning was here, as a student nurse,
I felt so excited in this new life.

New theory was learnt, from the experts,
Staying awake in lectures, discovering the verse.
Marchhall House, The Western General,
As I faced my pre-placement nerves.

Second Year began in Comely Bank,
Friendships made, and going out less.
An established life, as a student life,
I felt quite settled in this thing called life.

Exams were taken, results were recieved,
Lectures were less, working at Garvald.
Bangour Day Centre, the YPU twice,
As I learnt the role of a working nurse.

Third Year began in the Royal Ed,
New people to know, on staff nights out.
A very busy life, as a student nurse,
I felt so proud of my whole life.

Relationships were made, trust developed,
New ideas conceived, working at AMPS.
Edenhall, Inchkeith, Ward 1 and 8,
I questioned my carer in mental health.

Three years of work, at Napier,
Reflections over, soon to be a nurse.
Questions of work, perhaps a move,
The end is here, and now a new life.


Jennie’s Mini-Blog Corner

Another one from the archives of Jennie’s writing…


Thanks to Jim Campbell for the nominations! The 25 half push ups are starting to get a lot easier now. Too easy? Maybe I should start trying to be more ambitious 🤔

Today I’m nominating and dedicating these push ups to my long lost pal, James, who disappeared off to Colombia for most of the last year.  I didn’t want him to feel left out after I nominated Rebecca yesterday so felt it was only right to nominate him now. 😉 I miss our pub trips, nights in, and hearing him play very very much and can’t wait for a wee sesh again very soon! 🎻🎶


It Made Me Smile

Today, I saw some photos on Matt’s Facebook page that made me smile.  Here are the photos and what he wrote when posting them:

“At the well-named Swanpool beach near Falmouth, Cornwall.”.

You can click on any of the photos to see them in full-size!

I am not quite sure why this made me smile!  I think because we have a Swan Pond in Edinburgh AND because I haven’t heard from Matt for a while.  I am sure regular readers have been wondering where he had disappeared to – I was?!  It was 9 days ago on Day 104 when he last appeared in the blog!

I guess, he has been on holiday in Cornwall!



Readers Corner

For the keen regular blog readers, you may have noticed that these two sections were swapped round today!  This is just temporary and apologies for not considering the ‘Blog Community’ (Brayshaw, MJ, 2020) before doing so 😉

The reason for this, was I had written that there was nothing to include in Readers Corner today – but after asking Matt, if I could include his swan photos in ‘It Made Me Smile’, he replied with some news on what he had been doing, so this is going in Readers Corner.  If I had put Readers Corner first, it wouldn’t have made sense!  I will need to remember to swap it back for tomorrow!



Matt send me a message saying:

“Was a lovely day out. Had 3 swims in 3 locations close to each other. The family of swans appeared at the final beach.”.


You seem to be a keen swimmer Matt, just like Honey?!


Day 2 of Post-25 Day Push-Up Challenge

The answer to the Mini-Quiz at the start of this blog is the rock that Honey was sitting on is the rock I put my camera on to do the push-ups!  Remember?  It is the one that Helen said she felt the push-ups became so much more exciting, as you were expecting the phone to be blown off or a crow was going to swoop down and pick it up!




As I come to the end of the blog, it is heading towards midnight, so I will need to be quick with this summary!

I don’t feel I covered everything about ‘Energy’ that the Celestine Prophecy talks about, so I will try and find the full book and include it in the next few days.

I certainly feel that the news does not really talk about the psychological impact of coming out of lock-down.  There is lots about the impact on our mental health, with an increase of mental health problems.  But I think, we all need to be aware of the psychological impact, of having radically reduced our contact with people in the real world, to suddenly going back to being with lots of people.


Returning to our “old habits” of being with and going out with large groups of people.  Certainly, for me, it was a much bigger impact on my tiredness and energy levels.  I didn’t really think about it, until after Sunday.  I was just expecting life would “return to normal” without any consequences.

Although, we are connecting to people virtually through Zoom, that is just at one level.  The “real world” has so much more levels and interactions going on.  I still haven’t actually hugged anyone yet, even though I have wanted to.  So that may have another whole dimension to it.

The weather today has been threatening rain, but I don’t think it has.  It was been warmish, but not hot.

Hope you have had a good day.

Stay Safe.

Jim xx


  1. Helen

    I thought I recognised that rock! Sorry for such a late comment, I’m catching up on a couple of blog posts that I missed. Well done for continuing with the push ups!